SB1070? Nope. It's all about NM10

I don't know if all you out there in blog-world know about my No Men in '10 rule, which (in my head, because I think I'm that important) I abbreviate as NM10.  But NM10 is basically my self-imposed exile from the dating world.  It is exactly what it states: no men in the year 2010. 


                                                   

(Above pictured is the official symbol for NM10.)

I know, all the people under the male persuasion are rolling their eyes right now:  really? No men in 2010? How lame is that!?!  She's just a ridiculous man-hater!  Ladies. Gents. Please.  I know you're all thirsty, but stop drinking the Haterade for a minute.  Let me explain.

This whole ordeal got started after my last boyfriend.  It all started well, you know the way is usually does...and then everything just went to hell.  Yelling, punching walls, horrible stuff. And I allowed myself to be treated that way.  WHY?  Why would any self-respecting woman ever let herself go through that?  Well, it's simple - I wasn't a self-respecting woman.  You teach people how to treat you.  And I taught this man that it was okay to disrespect me and allowed myself to stay there when he did. It caused me a lot of heartache.  I never wanted to date again.  I was sure that all men, it doesn't matter where they're from, what church they go to (are you all surprised he was a member? he was.), or what they say they're like - THEY ALL SUCK.  Yeah, I was a man-hater, that's how it all started. BUT -

But I swear, that's not how it ends. Just keep reading, okay?

After being terribly disappointed in the opposite sex, I decided to not date.  I have taken myself out of the game.  At first it was weird, and kinda difficult - it's just a natural thing we do.  We are programmed to pursue coupling.  Being an observer, though, it's taught me a lot.  Women are no longer competition. Women are...friends. No, not frenemies. FRIENDS.  There can be a beautiful and supportive sisterhood between females when we really try, ladies.  Stop calling each other  bitches and hos, sisters!  Really!  How on Earth will men respect us when we can barely respect each other?  I'm so lucky to live with three awesome ladies, and I know we try as hard as we can to make each other's lives easier.  It's great, and it's something that I wish more females can experience.  It may not be a problem for every woman out there, but I think it actually is for a lot of women.  How many times have you not liked a girl because she was flirting with the guy you liked? Hm.

HM? Be honest.

How many times have you not liked a girl because she looked "like a ho with those damn Ugg boots and a mini-skirt"?  I'm guilty of that one myself.  I know, it doesn't make sense. But maybe that girl has trouble regulating her body temperature, what business is it of yours?  Ladies - love each other as sisters.  And all our lives will improve.

(The Roomies and I, at our GhettoFeast,  genuinely enjoying each other's company. No one called called a ho, not even once...can you believe it?)

In addition to finally appreciating other women, I've actually learned to appreciate men.  Guys can be...helpful. Or sweet.  Or caring.  Or funny.  Or intelligent.  Or they can be a fantastic combination of all the previous mentioned qualities plus a ba-jillion more!  And they can also be just your friends. ( No, not "just friends", like when someone comments on the facebook picture of you and your secret boyfriend and you don't know how to explain what's going on.)  Men can genuinely desire to be your friend.  They can be there to help you out, if you need it.  OH EM GEE, men are people. And they can be awesome people, at that.

The ultimate and most magical transformation that has taken place because of NM10 would be the deep appreciation I have found for...my own life.  There isn't a thing wrong with me - not with the way I look, not with the way I act, not with the way I run my life. I'm good, my life is good.  I don't know exactly where I picked up the mindset that it was permissable for a man to shake my self-confidence, but I'm glad that I am finally changing that. I've still got some time left for NM10, though, and I know that. Things still need to solidify as far as my self-respect is concerned. When I'm ready to start dating again, I'm sure there will be a huge party celebrating it, haha....or, once again, I just like to think I'm that important. Still,  I'm really excited about life in general, these days.

Man, I really want to take a nap.   All this appreciating life is really exhausting. Haha.