Put A Ring On It...or not.

Okay, ladies, I have a problem. What does a classy young single woman do when a guy likes her...and the feeling is LESS than mutual? I mean, you know, what is one to do when talking about other men in front of him and not answering any phone calls doesn't work? I'm sure we've all been through a few situations like this - when there is an obvious identity crisis (Mr. Wrong somehow thinking he is Mr. Right?). How do you gently let him know he's NOT the one for you?


Answer: You don't. At least not gently. You've already tried gently. The keyword here is tried. You tried to drop the hints. This man has some sort of Super Crazy I'm-in-Like-With You armor that deflects it all - he's gonna' see what he wants to see, not what you're actually trying to tell him! So, after much deliberation and research (read: after typing, "How to get rid of a guy I don't like" into Google); I've compiled a short list of things which may help the very uncomfortable situation.

Getting rid of Mr. Wrong:

1. If he ever tries to kiss you, DEFLECT! Anything that will move your face away from his, ladies. Pictured here is my personal favorite: the Supersneeze. (A handy tissue would be nice, but sneezing into your hand or maybe his shirt would be better!)

2. Talk, constantly, about how hot his brother/cousin/roomie/Dad is. Yeah, I said Dad. Now isn't the time to respect boundaries, ladies. It's war, and you gotta' pull out the big guns.

3. Be that girl. You know which one I'm talking about. The reaaaaally crazy one that you hoped you'd never be like. Write in a Hello Kitty journal about stupid things. And then make him read it, saying, "I really want you to know the real me!" Nothing makes a man feel less like a man than a damn cat with a bow in on its head.

4. Think of the most manly and unclassy thing you could do. And do it. Often, in front of him. Whether it's walking around with unshaved legs or burping constantly, it will definitely turn him off. It may also cause you to lose a few friends, or even PMR's. (Potential Mr. Rights) Think of them as dating "collateral damage". I'm sorry, civilians, but you've got to go.



5. Not only allow, but plan for him to see you right after you wake up. Feel free to hold your most embarrassing stuffed animal. Don't wear make-up. And be exceptionally grumpy. Maybe call him a fruitcake or some other mean term, if you feel so inclined. And when he asks if you had a rough night, just look completely confused and say, "I'm always like this in the morning."

Hopefully, my dear single women out there, you'll take heed to all these tips. I hear tons of women every day exclaim, "It's so hard to find a man! It's so hard to be in a relationship!" Well....no. It's really NOT. It's hard to stay single! It's hard to get a Mr. Right, and not settle for a Mr. I-Guess-So, or a Mr. I-Borrow-Money-From-Parents-For-Rent! I'm gonna' hold out for a Mister HELL YEAH! You know how we wake up and spend forever to get ready? Some women spend ages doing their hair or their make up. Other women spend a fortune on clothes and going to the gym. We invest so much of ourself into ourself...and for what? Attracting an "alright" guy? I don't think so! We are all worth the best! Remember that, out there in the dating world.

I mean, it's a crazy jungle out there, but that's no excuse to be stuck with an animal. And that message goes for all the single ladies, as well as the taken ones.