Half-eaten apple

I think it's funny.





I mean, during this last week I have literally been forced to get rid of my past. An unfortunate situation happened with a friend, which resulted in us no longer talking. The funny thing is - this friendship was...well, not a good one. I know at heart she is a good person, but she is the kind of person that is very concerned about herself mostly. And she was one of the main people that really didn't agree with the changes I was trying to make in my life (like not drinking). My old apartment was full of old memories and all the tangible objects to go with them - and the one day crazy move forced me to get rid of all those material things.

All of my shot glasses. All of my martini glasses and wine glasses. My wine openers. My pipes. My rollers. Everything that wasn't ABSOLUTELY necessary in the new apartment. Old clothes and gifts from old boyfriends...all given away. I had to leave a lot of things behind me. And it's really interesting, how well a person can get along without those things. I mean, here I am, still alive, right?


Well, I don't have a bed to sleep on, so I'm crazy stiff every morning. But I'm still breathing. I find that funny. Not in a ha-ha way, but in a "hmmmm..." kind of way. Think about it - how many things do you own that you just don't really need? Do you own these things, or do they own you? I feel like the universe conspired to make sure I really did start anew. I got baptized, I moved into a new place, I had to let go of everything that could hold me back. Everything, whether it was worldly possessions or people I knew. Life is just so so funny like that, isn't it? It's these things, these strings of events that give me that feeling...you know, it's something that springs up in your heart. It's the thing that lets you know there is more to life than you or I or anyone we know could ever imagine.


I have grown to very much love that feeling.


In other news, I've decided to hang around town in the morning before taking off to the Six-Oh-Deuce. Hopefully this will result in more unpacking. I've been thinking a lot about the trip, though. (The trip, alternately called, "RageFest 2010".) Well, it's really an odd juxtaposition of thoughts: Everyday we all wake up and get a chance to create our world. And everyday we wake up is a pure blessing. We are His greatest product, made in His image and His likeness. He is the ultimate creator, and therefore we are also creators of our own lives, by this great gift of free will. We all have the ability to choose and create. And God experiences all of our experiences, through us.

I feel honored that God gets to experience the East Coast (for, gee, I dunno, the twenty billionth time?) through me. I feel like that is a real motivator to keep oneself on the path to achieve your Greatest Self. Why on Earth would you settle for a life without love, happiness, and dreams - would you feel okay knowing that this is what you are allowing God (as He experiences it through you) a life without those things?


Pish posh! So, the point to my crazy and tired rambling is this: Go out there and show God the best you can possibly experience! Go out there and reach your highest potential!


Well, that's my daily pep talk to myself. I'm going to reach my highest potential now by heading home to sleep. Then I can unpack and start RAGEFEST 2010! We're gonna rage!!!!